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This is going to be the main thing I work on during Elfish Descent. As an example, I am really not very satisfied with how the Katerei and Gorath storyline played out. I fell into the Shyamalan trap of having a twist for the twists sake. By the time I got to chapter 11 or so, I realized that the big reveal that Kat and Gor were spies would have little to no pay off. What I should have done was make that clear up front, have Kat and Gor slowly begin to doubt their mission as they grew closer to Jeanette, before finally making the decision to defect and come clean. Meanwhile, Jeanette would be growing closer to them, to the point where she is considering leaving Turogg, or figuring out a way to make it all work. Then when it is revealed there will be a much bigger impact. I also should have arranged for it to happen sooner, so it’s not all resolved in a single chapter. One of the improvements that Rebellion had was multiple POVs and stories. However, as I learned, it was hard to move. The lace topswere held up by garters ... or suspenders, as i would now have to get usedto calling them. My shoes were thigh high red vinyl boots that onewould expect a common street hooker to wear. Around my collar was apink leather dog collar covered in sparkling cubic zirconium. Long,dangly chandelier were clipped on to each ear. Master repeatedly deniedmy pleas to allow me to pierce my ears back home, insisting that i waituntil i was in his possession. The same went for the tattoos and otherpiercings.The most embarrassing thing about my outfit was my complete lack of hairon my head. i'm naturally bald and shave my head and Master had refusedto allow me to wear my wig when travelling. He had told me that it wasbecause i would need to be recognizable from the picture in my passportand it would raise suspicion if it looked like i was trying to fly indisguise. The fact that i would instantly be identified as acrossdressing sissy was undoubtedly an added benefit for.
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